My relationship with the written word began when I was 8 years old. I received my first real diary when I was 7 and by the time it was 8 it had become a habit to write in it. My entries were not anything profound. They were the thoughts of a little girl mostly made up of recording keeping- what I ate, what I saw, what I felt. Looking back at those entries, they’re interesting only now that it is almost 20 years since. Since then, however, I’ve gone through ups and down with writing, through mediums I’ve tossed and electronic paper trails I’ve lost track of.
Writing personal essays really started in 11th grade and where I really began to explore it as an art form. I did it naturally, so perhaps I didn’t really “explore” it perse. I did fall in love with writing and inspiration found me at every corner. Perhaps it was my idealistic teenage mind that got me through those years writing. Also, the novelty that was Xanga, LiveJournal, Facebook, and a myriad of other blogging and micro-blogging sites that came up later. Ten years late, blogging is everywhere. Bloggers are “social justice warriors” and critics with everyone who has an opinion. It’s e-democracy and yet, so much noise.
So where do I fit into this? Well, I am yet another girl with another blog. I’ll say this right here, right now though. I do not want to be an influencer, I don’t have a message, and I don’t want to have a million followers, and I don’t get angry about issues not because I don’t care but because I would rather use the energy regarding -isms on evaluating and understanding them after getting the emotional knee jerk reaction out of the way. I’m still finding my way of processing things, I guess you could say. I’m just here to write and think.
I fell off the blogging bandwagon I think towards the end of 2015. 2016 saw a few posts but nothing with great enthusiasm and umph as I used to have. Something definitely changed and I realised it was useless trying to get the same umph back seeing as that maybe my whole way of writing, my whole self was probably changing anyway. Slowly, I seem to be getting back to it. I’ve been unsettled in more ways than one since pretty much 2014 and I think I’ve now somehow stumbled upon/created a space that allows for thoughtful and settled reflection.
A few days ago I bought a golden notebook designed after the Moleskines. I decided it was also time to be very honest even in my personal and private compositions. Not that I was “dishonest” in my private writings before, but perhaps I was too honest without a discriminate eye for what is really going on the page. Ah, chaos is an artist’s tool, sure, but sometimes chaos is just chaos and every creative has their sense of order, n’est-ce pas? That’s what I’m getting at here. I think I’m just at the beginning stages of coming up with some kind of artist’s discipline. I’m working on developing that now.
My current websites are the following:
http://www.spangolian.wordpress.com for all my travel/culture/identity related articles
http://www.mishkanotes.tumblr.com for the Instagram posts with their lengthier captions
http://www.lifeandtimesofek.wordpress.com for dark and saccharine poetry and prose
http://www.mishellhernandez.com my professional website forever under construction
Things that made me smile this week:
Cool movie I saw this week:
Meme of the week: